Tuesday, June 26, 2012

This Generation: Relationships/Marriage

Lately I've been looking at the world, this generation, the beliefs many have conformed to. Two  in particular that gets under my skin is relationships and marriage. Why are so many females out here looking for a man? WHY? Show me in the bible where there was a woman out searching for a mate? And when you do find somebody it only lasts for about 2 months. You know why? Because you have taken a situation, without consulting God, into your own hands. It clearly states in the bible  that "a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one". God knew who your spouse would be before you were born. You have to trust in God, trust that when it is the right time he will bring the one you are meant to be with into your life. Stop searching, God already found him/her for you. All you need to do is live life as it is written in the bible. Living a reckless lifestyle, hopping in one relationship after the other, sexing everything that moves is not going to get you anywhere. Take a look at your life. Are you living right? If you died right now, would you be on track with God? Many of you pray to God and ask for him to bring you somebody but you aren't even living right. Get yourself together first so that you can be the husband/wife that you're spouse will need you to be. Marriage was inspired by God, instituted by God, is preserved by God, and can rightly be dissolved only by God.
It states in Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 "Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?" One thing that God established while man was still in a sinless condition and said that it was not good for man to do without was marriage. But let God bring that person into your life. You don't need a dating website, all you need is trust in God, he will never steer you wrong. With all of that being said, do not get caught up in the society where you are lead to believe you need a ring or marriage license to prove you are married. Nowhere in the bible is that stated. It is not necessary to wear ornamental things to symbolize a marriage or to symbolize anything. Though you may choose to do so and it certain circumstances especially for military, it is necessary to have a marriage license. Don't get caught up in the worlds idea of marriage. You need to be connected spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Focus on that when God has blessed you with that special someone. Until then focus on you, and your relationship with God, which is the best relationship you can have

That's right girl!
Stand by your man
The one who cheats on you every chance he gets
Lies because the truth is beyond what you can handle
Stand by him, stand by him
The one who is not only sleeping with you but your friends as well
Making babies outside of the relationship
Burdening you with his problems and the problems of his other whores
You keep on, stand by YOUR man
Your man, Her man, and Sheila's too
A custody battle is sure to ensue
Between all of you...over the man you all share
But continue to stand by him
Pay his bills, wipe his tears, be the shoulder he leans on 
When he is depressed about other girls......
Stand by YOUR man
Be his crutch, his life support,his "main" squeeze
Love him, take care of him, worship the ground he walks on
Stand by him....stand by him
Because at the end of the day he is "yours" correct?
Hmm... your used to this cycle by now I presume?
Silly woman.... Stand by your man
While he stands by his other women...his other women

~Breanna Janee' Frazier

Monday, June 6, 2011

The 4 Seasons of Love

Some of you may already be aware of "the 4 seasons of love". For those who aren't, let me be the one to school you. Many of us have fallen into this cycle of repetition each year. Our relationship status seems to change with the seasons: winter, spring, summer, and fall. Winter is often referred to as "cuffing season". During winter we want to cuddle, have somebody to spend the cold snowy nights with. A companion at our side to celebrate Christmas with, bring in the New Year, and somebody who will cherish us on the 14th of February. By the time spring rolls around, the temporary love has faded once again and we have entered into the "break-up season". You have some couples who actually find "love" in the spring, but for most of us we are no longer living in relationship bliss.With summer being right around the corner, many of us no longer want to be in a committed relationship, especially males. Once summer hits, it is officially time to be single and mingle. For 3 months people engage in quick, meaningless hook-ups with the intentions of not catching feelings for anybody. Last, we have fall, the season of "crushing". From September thru December many of us have that one person we admire from afar but take time to approach for whatever reason. The 4 Seasons of Love...go figure.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Red Bones vs. "BLACK" bones?

Clearly, by my default photo you can see that I am a dark skin African American female. That being said, I think of myself as quite attractive. For years we have heard debates about which skin tone is more attractive, light or dark. Last week while, reading random posts on Facebook, I came across a status that said "What's up with all these dark skin females claiming to be red bones, they are dark bones, they need to give us our title back". I became so enraged after reading this because of how ignorant it sounded. Black bones? What exactly is a black bone? What exactly is a red bone? Both terms are ignorant. This statement coming right after popular rapper, Lil Wayne laid down the line "Beautiful black woman, I bet that bitch look better red" which enraged women all over the country. I cannot help to wonder why as African Americans we set ourselves apart from each other by different levels of our skin tone when for generations we were outkasted,lynched, and killed for just being black. Several decades ago, no matter if you were light, dark, fully African American, or mixed we were ALL considered black niggers. So why now, would you divide your own race? Separate it into categories and make such statements about each other? I have seen drop dead gorgeous light African American women as well as beautiful dark African American women. It angers me to see my own race act so ignorant. Black is beautiful. All black. Whether you are light, dark, or somewhere in-between.